


a nickname can be a compliment or an insult, but rarely both at the same time

by SerpentineJ



Series: gintama rarepair fic [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 15:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13744200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerpentineJ/pseuds/SerpentineJ
Summary: Is he lonely?The thought strikes him. It seems pathetic. In the same vein, it seems more true than anything he's thought of himself before.Sakamoto Tatsuma. He and his crew had dared to keep the great shogun captive. He had protected Nobunobu for no reason other than the fact that he is human. Isn't that terrifying? Sakamoto Tatsuma is a strange man, Nobunobu thinks, and he feels the pain in his chest pulling itself apart at the thought of that incomprehensible person.





	a nickname can be a compliment or an insult, but rarely both at the same time

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: THE SUMMARY SOUNDS SO EDGY anwyays i love sakanobu

"Join the Kaientai," Sakamoto says, smiling, and Nobunobu stares openly at him.

"Me?" He says. "Me, join the Kaientai?"

Sakamoto shrugs.

"I already have a second-in-command, but I can always use a helping hand," he says easily, shrugging, still grinning, and Nobunobu thinks this really is the stupidest, strangest, most incomprehensible man he's ever met. "You've got the eye of royalty, right?"

"I'd be no value to a trade ship," Nobunobu mutters. 

"At the very least, you can tell if someone's trying to sell me a batch of fakes," Sakamoto says, eyes sharp and smiling behind his sunglasses. "Besides, the Kaientai has always been a place for people who have nowhere else to go, Shogun-sama."

Nobunobu casts his eyes away. Former figurehead shogun. Hostage of the Kaientai. Lord Nobunobu. Who is he now? 

Sakamoto pats him on the shoulder.

"Think about it," he says, and then he leaves, letting the door close behind him. The guards are as impassive as ever, staring at some point over his shoulder in the small room that has been his home for the past few weeks.

Nobunobu stares at his hands.

"Excuse me," he says, the polite words feeling fumbling and awkward on his tongue. "What... what are your names?"

~~~~~~

As it turns out, one of the men's names is Daichi and the other is Atsushi, and Daichi's family had been slaughtered by the bakufu before he had been sold off to the pirates as a slave, and Atsushi's two best friends had died under Amanto imprisonment. They stand by the door fully armed in front of the man who represents the regime that had taken everything from them and don't make a move towards his throat. 

This, too, is the influence of Sakamoto Tatsuma, Nobunobu thinks. An ex-rebel fighter space merchant stumbling through the universe without a thought of vengeance or hatred who saves a bakufu leader. He's seen strange things, but this is one of the strangest.

~~~~~~

Sakamoto is sitting with Mutsu and two other of his crew in the mess hall around lunchtime the next day. Nobunobu sits down next to him. His guards follow.

"My answer is yes," he says, staring at his steamed fish, picking up his chopsticks, not making eye contact with Sakamoto or anyone else. It feels like he's giving up the things he's been bred to reach for his entire life, but he feels a hand on his shoulder in the next moment, and he looks up into Sakamoto's grinning face.

"Good to have you on board, Shogun-sama," he says, and Nobunobu wonders if he's still the shogun in any way.

"Wait," Mutsu says, "what's this about?"

Sakamoto turns to her.

"The shogun has agreed to join our little gang!" He laughs, the same stupid-sounding laugh, like he doesn't have a care in the world and hasn't just recruited the disgraced puppet leader of an entire country into his ranks. "Isn't that great, Mutsu? Now I can be known as the pirate who kidnapped the great shogun."

Mutsu sighs.

"What do you think this is, a princess fairy-tale?" She mutters. "Besides, the kidnapper is the villain, you idiot."

Sakamoto chuckles.

"Mutsu is always so hurtful," he says, taking another bite of rice. "Don't you think he'll come in handy?"

Nobunobu, uncharacteristically quiet, eats his food.

"Maybe." Mutsu says, narrowing her eyes at him.

~~~~~~

"Why would you offer me a place in your crew?" Nobunobu says.

Sakamoto, who's just let the sliding doors to Nobunobu's room slide shut behind him, scratches his head.

"Have I told you the story of how the crew on this ship came to be?" He says, smiling, and Nobunobu stares at him, green eyes bright and narrow in consideration. "It's a good one."

~~~~~~

Nobunobu discovers that there's a multitude of small flight decks with wide windows that look into the vastness of space. Since he had agreed to join the Kaientai, Sakamoto had relieved the guards that had kept 24-hour watch over him, and he roams the ship freely, though it's not like he has anywhere to go. Sakamoto is too trusting, he thinks, seeing the unlocked door to the engine room on his way through the halls.

Except this time, there's already someone in the room.

"Sakamoto?" He says to the curly-haired figure curled up on the floor.

Sakamoto jerks awake.

"Ah?" He mutters, rubbing his eyes, feeling around for his sunglasses on the flood beside him. "Oh, Shogun-sama, it's you."

Nobunobu's eyebrows twitch.

"What are you doing here?" Sakamoto yawns, sitting up, cross-legged. "Your room not comfortable enough?"

"I couldn't sleep." Nobunobu says. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on the bridge?"

Sakamoto shrugs.

"Mutsu keeps trying to make me look over inventory records," he groans, lying back on the floor again. "I said I'll do it tomorrow, but no, she's probably hiding in my room, waiting to hold me at knife-point until I finish the paperwork..."

"I see." Nobunobu says. 

Sakamoto opens his eyes again.

"But why are you here, shogun-sama?" He asks, folding his arms behind his head. "It's pretty cold outside the rooms."

Nobunobu flushes. His face turns a blotchy pink.

"Nothing, really." He says. "I was just leaving."

~~~~~~

Nobunobu lies awake in his room that night, staring at the ceiling, trying to quell the strange feeling in his chest. What is it? Anger? Sadness? Longing? He is unfamiliar with this painful, despairing kind of want. It curls in his chest like an old and withered root, stunted and cracked, with the tiniest flicker of life struggling to break through its core. Whatever he's wanted, he's always taken. Such is the life of a lord and a shogun. He thinks back to Shigeshige. Had that man felt like this when he had thought of a peace for his people? Shigeshige, a saint among men, a shining ruler who Nobunobu had destroyed with his own empty, vindictive, dirty hands, had felt a pain like this every day he had lived and used it only to fuel a love for his people?

Nobunobu blinks. The thoughts chasing themselves around his head are too complex. He's never stepped into this realm before. People recoil from him, unless they want something of him. People keep a safe distance, walk on the balls of their feet around him, because of the status he holds and the sharp gleam of his green eyes.

Is he lonely?

The thought strikes him. It seems pathetic. In the same vein, it seems more true than anything he's thought of himself before. 

Sakamoto Tatsuma. He and his crew had dared to keep the great shogun captive. He had protected Nobunobu for no reason other than the fact that he is human. Isn't that terrifying? Sakamoto Tatsuma is a strange man, Nobunobu thinks, and he feels the pain in his chest pulling itself apart at the thought of that incomprehensible person.

He rolls over. This is too much. He tries to quell the pounding in his chest and sleep.

~~~~~~

Needless to say, he is unsuccessful.

"You look like shit, Shogun-sama." Sakamoto says cheerfully at breakfast the next morning.

"You're one to talk." Nobunobu grouses over his porridge. There are dark circles under both their eyes. "Did Mutsu-san get you, eventually?"

Sakamoto sighs.

"I didn't get a wink of sleep," he moans, taking a large gulp of his water. "Being a businessman sure is tough."

"It's all a part of disciplining yourself." Mutsu says, setting her tray down at the seat across from Sakamoto. "If you can do it today, don't put it off until tomorrow."

Sakamoto sighs.

"I think that only applies within a regular schedule with a normal amount of sleep..." He mutters. He turns to Nobunobu. "Anyways, what were you doing last night?"

Nobunobu stiffens.

"I was..." He says. "Preoccupied."

"Oh?" Sakamoto takes a large bite of a bun. "With what?"

With you, Nobunobu thinks privately, a massive fool of a man who seems to have saved my life, but it's an idiotic thought, so he keeps it to himself.

"Plotting to escape," he says instead, eating a spoonful of porridge. Sakamoto laughs in that loud, obnoxious way. Mutsu's eyebrow tics.

"Is that why you were sneaking around the ship late at night?" Sakamoto chuckles, watching him out of the corner of his sunglasses-hidden eyes, tapping a finger against the table. "Well, we'll have to see if we can't get you to stay on. What do you want? Another bowl of porridge?"

Nobunobu wrinkles his nose at him.

"As if I would be tempted by something so worthless," he says, still eating. "I'll think about it."

"You've certainly gotten comfortable." Mutsu huffs, finishing her third plate of breakfast. "Help me keep this idiot in line, Nobunobu. Don't be fooled by his occasional bouts of intelligence."

"Like you were?" Nobunobu says, and Mutsu makes a noise of outrage, cracking a plate in her hands with Yato strength, and Sakamoto is still laughing, and the crew watches the unlikely trio- an ex-Joi patriot, an ex-slaver, and an ex-shogun- get into a squawking spat about the last dumpling on Sakamoto's plate.

~~~~~~

"Cheers!" Sakamoto shouts, someone's necktie tied around his forehead and keeping his curly hair at bay, raising a fizzing can of cheap Japanese beer in triumph. "We've just closed the deal of the year!"

The crew cheers in the mess hall. Tables of food are spread in front of them, and Nobunobu accepts a small cup of sake, watching Mutsu drink an entire bottle by herself, her cheeks red and her hair loose around her shoulders. Everyone lets their guard down. Nobunobu's lips turn upward.

"Ah!" Sakamoto's arm is suddenly around his shoulders, and his beer-breath is uncomfortably close to his face. "I saw that, Shogun-sama! You smiled!"

"I- I did not." Nobunobu says stiffly, hastily drinking his sake. "I was laughing at you."

Sakamoto throws his head back and laughs. It's even more annoying and obnoxious when he's buzzed. He doesn't let go of Nobunobu even when he puts his drink down and undoes the white neckscarf around his throat. Nobunobu shifts uncomfortably in his seat, because Sakamoto smells unexpectedly nice, even through the beer and the day's work. He wonders if he had bought his cologne from some alien planet, or if it's something cheap he picked up on Earth, or if someone had given it to him as a present. He realizes he's thinking too deeply into Sakamoto Tatsuma's habits again. He resolves to stop, but if it were that easy, his mind wouldn't go into overdrive every time Sakamoto grins idiotically at him.

He takes another drink. Someone refills his cup. He feels his cheeks going red.

"That idiot Katsura..." Sakamoto is mumbling, something about the Joi Four and how they always get into the stupidest fights when he's not around to take the fall, and Nobunobu feels the warm weight around his shoulders, and allows himself to smile a little. This is nicer than any function he'd attended on Earth, whether as Lord Nobunobu or as shogun, and the nagging voice in the back of his head that says it has nothing to do with the atmosphere and everything to do with the red-clad man whose arm is draped over his shoulders should shut up and mind its own business for once, because Nobunobu is trying to enjoy this novelty of having people he might be able to call friends.

~~~~~~

When the members of the Joi Four do visit, it's probably the liveliest the ship has ever been, if only because Gintoki and Takasugi get into a spitting catfight within ten minutes of stepping foot on the ship, and Katsura insisted on bringing that massive thing that Nobunobu still isn't too sure is a duck, and it seems like all the Four's retainers are here too, because Sakamoto and the kid with the glasses is trying to pull Takasugi and Gintoki apart, and the redheaded Yato girl is chatting with Mutsu, and the blue-haired guy with the shamisen is still kind of beat up but he and the blonde girl are verbally abusing Katsura and the bald guy with the weird eyes. 

A huge white dog pads up to Nobunobu and nudges his hand like it wants him to pet it. He does. It barks in excitement and tries to eat him. The next few minutes are screaming, and struggling, and the dark red inside of a canine's mouth before light shines back in and Sakamoto and the redheaded girl are prying open the dog's mouth and pulling him out.

"Sadaharu!" The girl chastises him. "People aren't good for your insides!"

"That's the issue here?" The glasses kid cries.

Nobunobu coughs. He's covered in dog spit. Sakamoto and Mutsu are crouched in front of him with something that could almost be concern if it weren't warring with blatant amusement on their faces.

Nobunobu opens his mouth-

-and laughs.

He shuts his mouth. He blinks. Sakamoto and Mutsu are staring at him. He opens his mouth again, but the only thing that will come out is a little, rusty laugh, and then Sakamoto is laughing too, and Mutsu chuckles and hides her eyes behind the brim of her traveler's hat, and Nobunobu loses himself to the feeling of tasting freedom at last.

~~~~~~

"Hard to starboard!" Sakamoto shouts, and the ship rocks with the shock of recieving cannon fire. Smoke starts to spew from the port side hallway leading into the bridge. "Kaientai, let's get the hell out of here!"

Mutsu jams up the hallway to stop the smoke from choking the bridge, and Sakamoto pulls his scarf up to cover his mouth. Nobunobu presses his palm over his lips and tries not to cough. He's never smoked before. He grabs onto the nearest sturdy object when the hull gives another creaking groan and tremors run through the steel beneath his feet.

"Hold on tight!" Sakamoto shouts, and the ship lurches into high gear, speeding away from the space-vehicle warzone they had gotten caught up in with only a few smoking shells embedded in the shiny red hull. 

"We're putting out the fire!" Mutsu shouts. "System check!"

Sakamoto coughs.

"System check!" He relays to the rest of the crew, who run off in different directions. Sakamoto turns to Nobunobu, looking green. "Shogun-sama, take the bridge for a minute. I'm gonna be sick."  
And he sprints off, presumably to find one of his hidden stashes of barf bags, wooden shoes clacking against the floor, and the rest of the people sitting on the bridge seem to know what to do, so Nobunobu stands there awkwardly, waving smoke away from his face.

~~~~~~

"He left you in charge of the bridge?" Mutsu says over drinks that night, when the ship has stopped smoking and the Kaientai is limping back to Earth because Gintoki's aquaintence Gengai had sworn to fix up their ships at no cost if he could get his mechanic's hands into the guts of the space vessels. "He must really trust you."

Nobunobu chokes over his drink. Mutsu sips quietly. Her traveler's hat lies discarded to the side of the low-sitting table in Nobunobu's quarters. Her hair is coming unravelled, fair strands escaping from their tie, and the slight flush on her face from the drink and the laid-back way she sits makes Nobunobu think maybe she trusts him more than she'd admit, too.

"This alcohol is terrible," he says, instead of saying anything that he might not be able to take back.

Mutsu snorts.

"Sorry it isn't up to the standards of royalty." She takes another drink, refilling her cup. The door slides open again.

"Man, things in the engine room have finally settled down," Sakamoto sighs, collapsing on a cushion at the table, frazzled hair smelling a bit burnt. He cracks open a bottle of beer that Mutsu passes to him, and pours half of it into a glass, drinking noisily and exhaling heavily. "I didn't know it was possible to have this much trouble from a crappy coolant system."

"That's because you're an idiot," Mutsu mutters.

~~~~~~

Later, when they've all drank too much and talked too much and the only noise is the low rumble of the heaving of the ship and Mutsu's light snoring, Nobunobu is sprawled across the tatami floor. He can feel Sakamoto's frizzy head lying heavily on his stomach. He thinks the other man might be asleep as well, until Sakamoto shifts and groans.

"Sorry for stealin' your room to drink," Sakamoto murmurs, throwing one hand over his face. Nobunobu feels it through his stomach. "Mutsu always outdrinks me, anyways."  
Nobunobu huffs out a laugh. Sakamoto's head moves with his breathing. 

"Everything on this ship belongs to you." He says. "I don't own anything you haven't already stolen."

He catches sight of the ripping scar that runs along the interior of Sakamoto's right wrist. He remembers that the man is technically a war veteran and a genius tactician. Sakamoto lets out that stupid laugh again, and he thinks Dragon of Katsu-whatever can't possibly be as fitting a title for him as the Idiot Captain of the Kaientai is.

"So we've finally won you over, Shogun-sama," Sakamoto chuckles tipsily, warm against Nobunobu's abdomen.

There's a moment of silence.

"Why do you still call me that?" Nobunobu asks, fingers twitching, his alcohol-warmed brain trying to resist the urge to grip Sakamoto's scarred wrist in his hand. "Shogun. I'm not, you know."  
Sakamoto doesn't reply.

"Is the only reason I'm on your ship so I can be reminded of my crimes every time you speak to me?" Nobunobu says, the drink making him speak words he doesn't even have time to string together. "When you rescued me, you said I had an obligation to watch the effects my actions had on the country. That I had given up my right to die. Is that why I'm still alive on your ship?"

Sakamoto's head shifts on his stomach. Nobunobu wishes he could see the other man's expression. He wonders if he's fallen asleep.

"Haven't you ever heard of a nickname?" Sakamoto says, startling Nobunobu out of his spiraling thoughts. There's a smile in his voice. "It's something you give to people you like."

Nobunobu stiffens. Sakamoto doesn't say anything more.

"A trader never gives without receiving in return," Nobunobu breathes, feeling like the wind has been stolen from his lungs, like he's standing at the peak of a precipice completely different than the one that Sakamoto had talked about when he had first imprisoned him in this room. "And what do you want from me?"

Sakamoto doesn't reply.

Nobunobu feels himself turning redder than he had from the alcohol.

"If you've seen fit to give something like that," he mumbles, "then I-"

He's interrupted by a snore.

Sakamoto's head rests heavily on his stomach. Sakamoto's chest rises and falls with each peaceful breath. Nobunobu knows that the Kaientai can take care of themselves without him, and that he's nothing but a passing intruder on their cobbled-together lives, but something rises in him, and suddenly he doesn't feel as empty. 

"I'll protect you," he says, quietly. "Anything that... someone like me can do."

There's a shuffling sound from the other side of the table.

"So he's got you too." Mutsu's groggy voice comes from what sounds like slightly above floor-level, like she's just sat up. "Nobunobu."

Nobunobu makes a noise.

"You had that same look in your eyes." Mutsu says slowly, her voice low and gravelly. "The same look I had, before I met him. I can recognize someone who's been bred and positioned to exploit other people as well as I know myself."

Nobunobu stares at the ceiling.

"He told me," he says. Mutsu scoffs.

"He loves telling that story." She snorts. "He'll tell it to anyone who'll listen."

There's another shuffling sound, like she's lying back down again. Nobunobu wonders how he's found himself in this strange situation. He feels like he's been having more thoughts for himself since boarding this bright red ship, with its bright red-clad captain and his bright smile and the bright gleam of his gun and the bright eyes of a former-slaver Yato girl.

"Is it alright?" He asks. "That I'm here."

She laughs roughly.

"That's not a very shogun-like question, is it, Shogun-sama?" She mutters, and there's the sound of cloth rustling, like she's rolling over on the tatami. "I'm drunk. Go to sleep."

He closes his eyes. He lets himself drift off. Sakamoto is snoring with his head pillowed on Nobunobu's stomach, and Mutsu's breathing evens out, and his cracked and struggling heart feels awash in something like contentment.

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: [tumblr](http://kimishitaatsushi.tumblr.com)  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/serpentinej)


End file.
